1. |
Golden Door
05:16
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You are the one that I’ve been waiting for, camped out in cascade canyon corridors
Waiting up for one like you to come streaming through, with your glacial body gleaming soft and true
You are the one that I’ve been dreaming up, when I’m fast asleep we have been teaming up. Just like it was before we were split up, just hanging out and seeing what is up, as we wander in light
You’re on the other side of a golden door. You are the other I have been longing for. You’re on the other side of a silver pass, you are the other I that I love at long last
You are the pattern guide of the crystalline
You are the pale blue white of the celestine
You are the bright inside of a mineral sheen
You are reflected light in a cold clear stream
You are the fire behind seven bright stars
Beaming all day and night to our avatars
You are the keeper of a radiant gate
You are the answer to a long long long long wait
You’re on the other side of a golden door. You are the other I have been longing for. You’re on the other side of a silver pass. You are the other I that I love at long last.
You are the one that satisfies my soul
You fill me to the point of overflow
You remind me what I’ve always known
And help me feel the love I always hold
For our wandering life
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2. |
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The creek is full of boulders and their sound,
The cymbal crash of sycamores falling down
Like the songs of quartz and crystal moving round
While the crush of all that’s changing grinds us down
For al that sleeping loose and laden like snow clouds
Clattered from the mountaintops, free and loud
spread with ponderosas and singing pines
And the streams that conference solemnly in my mind
Well I can’t seem to hide it, or keep my grief inside,
Every time I try it my feelings start a riot
I don’t want to get what I want, I just want to be back with you
all that blooms and fruits and ripens on the limb
all that greens and fades and yellows, then goes within
all that dreams its way through winter in white hollows
all that guides back to the heart, and all that follows
Now is the time when I should be quiet
But you know that’s not my strength, I’m loud as a choir
Only thing I ever sing about, is this devastating desire
That burns the canyons of my heart like wild fires
I don’t want to get what I want, I just want to be back with you
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3. |
Haku Sings
04:42
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Are you needing some friendship, my friend
You who wandered into this land
Past the unraveling ends
Of the grasslands and passes you’ve known
Now the river has flooded with waters
washing over your pathway of stones
It’s all right to sit down with your face in your hands
And to cry out, at this place where the wide river bends
It’s ok to feel cut loose and reckless
Like the scattered pearls of a broken necklace
Losing track of all that was precious and bright
Like all rosy dawns have been swallowed by black velvet night
Just don’t float a way, like a sea lantern nobody lit
Let a friend, someone like me, light your wick
Are you needing some kindness my friend
You’ve got nothing to hold but loose ends
The gold turned right back into loam
And you’re longing to be free to go home
It’s all right that your flame got blown out in the wind
And your true name has grown faded forgotten and dim
Just don’t float a way, like a sea lantern nobody lit
Let a friend, someone like me, light your wick
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4. |
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I don’t know what to say to you, words are never fully true
but the diamond cut of your green eyes reminds me we’re both made of fire.
You know I’m all about you. there’s no one that I want but you.
you know that I am here forever with honey no matter what else comes true
But I can’t say what it’d do to me
Can’t say what kind of harm
if I should have to leave the loving circle of your arms
You are ruled by mountain laws, and I belong in lion’s paws
we joined up our reckless fates, shifting continental plates
Our minds are passing ships at sea. But our love is bright like weeping trees
we’re pearls of sap, we’re gold and green and rushing waters fill our streams
I can’t say what it’d do to me
Can’t speak out the kind of harm
if I should have to leave the loving circle of your arms
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5. |
Sphinx I
05:44
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Endure endure endure, endure endure endure
something is coming that’s worth waiting for,
something worth fighting for. Something worth surviving for.
New life is coming that makes it worth the harrowing pangs of birth
Live on live on live on, lean on our strength and live on
something is coming that will heal your shattered heart
something worth living for. Something worth forgiving us for.
A new song is being sung into the earth, the heartrending song of birth.
Let us gather you up in the folds of our skirts, and sing to your ancient worth.
Transform, transform transform, it hurts the pour soul to change form
bluebells are budding to bring back your honeybees, to fill you up gold and sweet. Don't it make you weak in the knees?
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6. |
Mother Lode
09:35
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My whole life I've been sad as eff about God only knows what. I'm a lost cause. Once in a while I try to lay my paws on some warm heart that beats my name, just to find that darkness has it claimed.
Or so sings some agony in me, casting her sad song out to sea. Tangle of nets that cut and blister, hoping to God that there's a listener as she sets sail into the night.
My whole life I've been under wraps, hiding from a cascade of crap. I'm a hopeless case! Every day I lose my place. My mind is weak and unsustained, it holds no memory or blame.
Or so says some vibration in me, sending a story home through me. Dark dirty wave that seeks a sea. Dark dirty sound that's coming clean, on its long path into the light.
I lost my home and my chance to be happy. I lost my right to belong to my family. I don't deserve any love or affection, because of my reckless displays of imperfection.
Or so says some resonance in me, seeking a medium in me. Dark dirty wave that seeks a sea, dark dirty sound that's coming clean, who needs my field as its amender, who's chosen home and whole surrender on its long path into the light.
I see your path through the night little friend. All paths lead back to the light in the end. If you need a hand, I'm happy to hold. If you need some love, I'm the Loving Mother Lode.
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7. |
Listen Like A Thief
03:15
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Listen like a thief, she said, for the gifts of others, who will make themselves known to you somehow, some way.
These mineral spirits will take on the body of an old man to test your heart. There is always someone there to help you recover what you are.
Peaches gold right out of what was green in them. And you never sing the same song twice. Because the shape of your breath is always an iteration of the same swoop and fall, the same sweet patience.
We are always remembered. We are the ones who have forgot.
And I do love what is given to me to love. The ones who sit beside me, the spaces I inhabit with my sorrow. The ocean storm washed up a whitened tree. Your arms will hold my stories forever for me, don't I know it.
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8. |
Crown of Flowers
09:23
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In spite of the fact that you’re here and no matter how long you linger, I will press on past you this time.
however it is you got into me, and whatever it takes to clear you, I’ll move on beyond you this time.
Every time i try, to expand the lines, to take up some space, you have shown your face. It’s clear your purpose is to keep me from sprouting, to keep my flame down low. To keep me from shouting.
But tide is high, I am gigantic, and I am deep and oceanic
My winter swells are north atlantic, I’d say your chances titanic
there is a monolith of my face, so big you photograph me from space
and when my true nature is unlaced, I’m so immense you call me a place
In spite of the fact that you’re here and no matter how long you hang around, I’ll press on past you this time.
no matter what you throw at me, and no matter which way it spins me, I will push on past you this time
Every time I grow, into what I can’t help but be, you have to come around, to lean/put your weight on me.
But I can’t help but seed, and I can’t help but bloom, (high) you pinch off all my leaves, (and you force my fruit) but the jokes on you
Because I’m rising high and I’m volcanic, and my body’s geomantic
My natural language is botanic, my inclinations are romantic
You could make a star map of my true size, lights years of vertical and lengthwise
my love’s as limitless as blue skies, go ahead and try to stop my sunrise
All that was taken from life is being brought back to us now
All that was stolen from life is being brought back to us at last
You who were taken from the vine you’re being brought back to us now
all children gone missing in the night are being brought back to us from the past
Like a crown of flowers, you’re reviving in our waters
like a crown of flowers, every single son and daughter
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9. |
Tiny Practice
07:12
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I’ve got swimmers eyes, filled with blue, looking up at the sight of you
I don’t like sitting in the shade, I’d rather burn up in your blaze
Longing is my oldest habit. My heart is soft like April rabbits
Lying down in grass grown long, thinking only ever of your song
Call my dancing accidental, well my music’s elemental
show me all your private faces, take me to your secret places
oh holy shine of cherimoya, collect your seeds so I can show you
how a grin can change a face completely. Don’t you want to meet me?
Hold me close while I am sleeping, and hide me deep in your safekeeping
I’d go up any old spiral staircase for a glimpse of your face, for a glimpse of you
I can’t remember how it started I only know the planet went black
I can’t remember how we parted I only know I want you back
I’m set fire like I’m some kindling, aren’t I your kin, your darling?
Plait dry grass into a braid, use these limes for lemonade
I’ve made material commitments to partake in many fictions
but my apron pocket’s full of flowers, and I have your audience all hours
I share my tokens of perception, give me your nimbus of protection
Pencil in my tiny practice I’ll give up anything if you ask it
I’m full of bitters, I’m full of love songs, I’m full of sunfire and I’m starborn
I’m full of nightmares and trembling motion, I’m a tide returning out to the ocean
I can’t remember how we parted I only know I want you back
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10. |
Daughter
08:56
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Heal a secret divide, with bloodroot and wolf hide.
Curls of fiddlehead fern, fistfuls of our black earth
Place these herbs by your bed, sing a song over your head/the whole world sleeps along with you daughter, climbing rose with no bloom/every morning I’ll bring you water, and sweep up your room with sedge and broom
Coat of arms, Occitan. Steward of a fruitful land. Tatted lace fleur-de-lis, see my face in your dreams. I don’t know how to teach you, daughter, everything you’ll need, for now listen to rainwater, in its fall you may hope to recall Mother’s Song.
When a star falls in flames, over summer gold plains, we’re the ones the wind wedded, northern lights, bison-headed,
keep safe our crystal caverns, hearth stones glow like lanterns
we come as daughters seven, we hold the colors of heaven in our song, in our song
White magnificent horse, southern winds brushed you north. I’m in stars, I’m in bonds, chained ‘til you came along. They gave me up to appease, hungers of darkened seas
I don’t know how to thank you brother, but I feel like I know you somehow, tell me don’t we know each other,
and otherwise how do we know the same song?
saplings spread out your leaves, darlings grow into trees
fill your branches with starlings, let the sunfire in you sing
seed your light into landscape, seed your light into landscape
Sisters of the true sight, I went out late last night, far beyond the stone well, following voices and bells,
in the forests of oaks and sage, I saw what will come in our coming age
I don’t know how to put it best, we have waited so long, I saw the world cured of its heartsickness, and our children growing up knowing our song. Mother’s song!
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11. |
Little Outlaw
03:56
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Little outlaw running for your life
I can hide you in my home, protect you like a wife
I’ll fight off those county men with my sawed off shot gun
and I don’t mind to take a fall if there has to be someone
Little outlaw, who did you offend
you’ve got the whole town after you
and they don’t look like friends
I can face them down for you, I have no fear of blood
These ones have been after us since long before the flood
unholy beast obscene, monster crowned as three
hungry for your dread, he only lives if you are dead
So help me God, there’s nothing that I want more
than to see you walking safely out my back door
Ooh honey you were born the perfect child
and it’s high time to finally set you wild
Take this trail, it goes up behind the mountain
There’s a glacier there that’s flowing like a fountain
Give my name to the keepers of the water
they’ll take you in and love you like a daughter
So help me God there’s nothing that I want more
than to see you safely walking out my back door
Oh honey, you were born a perfect child
and it’s high time to finally set you wild
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12. |
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I’ve been sounding fathoms of dark in my ocean grave blue and velvet waves
I’ve been clouded and turquoise and gray keeping out of sight under filtered light
I never meant to end up apart from you, all I ever wanted was to be a part of you
I never meant to be a bad child. All I ever wanted to get lost in the wild
I want to be yours and nobody else’s I don’t even want to belong to my own self
Stepping outside into hot golden light. rose geraniums, eucalyptus gum
and the flowering branches of limes with their waxen leaves and their gleaming greens
Waltzing along through the bright lights of paradise
Hearing your songs and seeing your colored lights
I want to be yours and nobody else’s I don’t even want to belong to my own self
She said most people need to look at their shadows but you need to be in the sun
Most would do well to take note of their darkness but darling your dark times are done
I can see that my husband’s been trying to call me and I’ve got to pick up my kid
But remember the demon that took all your softness and don’t let let him get in your skin
But I want to be Source’s and nobody else’s I don’t even want to belong to my own self
Waltzing along through the bright lights of paradise
Hearing your songs and seeing your colored lights
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13. |
Nothing But Song
05:41
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Muffled by the sounds of whitecapped seas your silver laugh is a clump of grass you hold my dirt together.
Every day you recreate the coast anew. With lines of tide, soft and fine, I’m in love with what you drew. And long ago I gave up finding names for the many hues of blue seen in your waves
I am eroded from within, by that which loves my din, and my heart beats on a tin to march my way back in. Everyone is terrified of what they truly love, but I know by now your medicine in a pair of turtledoves
I’m hearing bells bells bells beautiful bells, you break my heart, with a secret art, open not apart. like the thick soft peel of citrus globes, I’m an envelope of little hopes, and I’m made to burst and grow
and I’m filled with ruby fruit, jewelled chambers just like you, and for my beauties to come true, I will plant them deep in you
I’m nothing but song for you
You know I am forever in your debt, not quite big enough to hold you fully in me yet,
Give up all that calls out so loudly to be given, make a home inside my heart for you come and live in
Every night I lay myself to rest, with the music pounding wildly in my chest
with your arms surrounding every tiny tenderness
and your love is flooding every valley in my breast
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14. |
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We traveled all night, across the pale, cold desert floor. Lit by lanterns and starlight, to reach the place where mountains roar.
All along the river’s flood, we held your secrets in our blood
When we despaired the loss of law, we felt the comfort of your paw
But something wasn’t quite right, some stone was not in place, we searched the sunrise landscape, for the contours of your face.
Are we now, oh mama, any wiser than before?
We carried fig trees and scented twigs, incense we rolled up into beads
instruments with many strings, lotus seeds and laurel leaves
and something wouldn’t grow, our starseeds wouldn’t sprout
til we felt the friendly presence of your warm breath from the south
Are we now, oh mama, any wiser than before?
hidden in the folds of our kind/we had specks of poisoned darkmind
we lost the loving of our brothers/turned against one and another
Something wasn’t lined up/something tangled, caught and tied
Til we saw your silver white light, arc across our summer skies
Are we now, oh mama, any wiser than before?
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15. |
Grow Flowers
05:24
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I will expand into this land
sit on the beach and fill up the sea
I’ll give you my shoulders. I’m big as boulders
to bore little holes in, store parts of your soul in me
All I want our love to do is grow flowers
I will laugh loudly. I’ll fill the room with me
dance unabashed. clay pots will smash
patches of borage. cook you your porridge
All I want our love to do is grow flowers
I’ll give you valleys of space. I’ll wait forever for your glaciers
I will be patient with the snow melt, wait for the changing of your pelt
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16. |
What We Gave You
06:01
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I can think of no more lawless deed than to take a changeling child out of the wild they need
you can try to keep us hidden, make our languages forbidden
we will only find a way to keep on growing underground
though we’re weak and we are furtive we cannot help but surface
no matter what has hurt us, we have faces
and you cannot make us disobey the rule of what does rule us in our deepest nature
you took us from the forest, little bulbs of stolen crocus
suckled us at your breast until we loved you helpless
what of my bright iris you ate for the mouth of Isis
so I’d recite your verses and I’d live out your curse
Admit that you have grown old from consuming the gold of others
devil-enchanted mother oak you are
when you finally crash down, that’s we green and crown
at last receive some sunlight on our leaves
Because you needed it we gave you our breath
because you asked for it we gave you our death
because your stars went out we gave you our sun
because you broke our hearts we gave you our love
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17. |
Pristine
07:00
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You have been on my mind in multiple forms
As I have been weathering some kind of personal storm
I have been traveling as particle wave, Set on unraveling my bindings in place
What I found out that way was only too predictable in the end
Freedom depends on really feeling your chains
And facing again how horribly bound you’ve been
My heart’s been beating fast, its little hummingbird wings
With desires that can only be quenched in cold mountain springs
I have been wandering, inside inner scenes
Looking for someone like you, something pristine
I am a mountain range again, I am a wilderness, all right, I am a canyon of sage alive, I am alight
I am a forest vast and green, I am sun-soaked cliff-face gleaming, I am a blue meadow blooming bright, I am alight
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18. |
Sphinx II
06:43
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I have been known by many a name, there’s many a name for me.
You have been known by many a face, I’ve loved them all faithfully.
I’m golden and holding, loving you so. The singing you heard was me.
I’m the warm bodied sand, and the lay of the land, and the healing, beautiful sea.
Clasped to my chest at the helm of my breast, we’ll sail to the glowing suns
And the one who has harmed you flies in alarm from you when he sees you and me as one
I’m golden and holding, loving you so. The singing you heard was for you.
I’m the smile in their eyes and the pleasant surprise of a loving face looking at you
And I’m holding you tight in my paws, protected by my deadly claws.
With my breath at the back of your neck, you can face what you couldn’t face yet.
I’ll fill you with oceans, fanciful notions, dances and flights and expanding lights.
You’re warm from within, a sweet little grin, a seed and a sprout and a shoot and shout.
You’re golden and holding loving us so. The singing you heard was your own. You’re the wealth of the land and the urge to expand into your wheeling starlight soaked home.
And I’m holding you close to my chest, carried through crash trough and crest.
With my breath at the back of your neck, you can face what you couldn’t face yet.
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Team Bright Santa Barbara, California
/// (( )) \\\
Team Bright is Holly Mae Haddock + shifting cast of
friends.
Current playing out constellation: Andrew DeVore on harmonica, Cameron Woods Robertson on pedal steel, Jess Bush on keys, Brent Leftwich on banjo, ukulele and mandolin, and Robert Karl on bassoon
Come listen: Friday February 24th, 8pm at Roy in Santa Barbara. First live performance of 12 songs from Sun Wedding.
... more
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